i do NOT want this to sound like a "whoa is me" post. i do not in anyway think that my life is horrible or unfair. i just want to express what i am going through so that i might encourage others in knowing that they are not alone. with that said... i am overwhelmed. i feel like i am treading water every minute of every day. i can't remember not feeling this way. i want to be healthy in my body, but first i need to find how to be healthy in my soul... i know i can, i just have to find the right plan to get me there. i keep wishing that i had a big DO OVER button. i would like to start over with my money, my house, my marriage and my health, knowing what i know now. the task of having to clean out my habits and the garbage i have accrued in the past 14 years is daunting.
i have decided to go one step at a time with the one thing i know that is a constant in my life. GOD. i am going to start living Galatians 5:22 & 23 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control...
one fruit at a time i am going to study and live what i believe it means in the name of God. the first being LOVE. i will pull this into three parts: love for God, love for myself, and love for others. i will not move on until i feel that i have gotten it and made it into a habit in my life. please continue to send me emails letting me know about what you are doing to move into a healthy lifestyle. i need to hear from you as much as i need you to hear what i am saying.
Monday, November 29
Thursday, October 14
being human
boy! being human is harder than it looks... i get so tired of not having the motivation needed to do what needs to be done! the last few weeks have NOT gone as smoothly as i would have liked, but the last few days have been amazing! i contacted Greg @ forever fit gym in longview wash. i told him that i needed to get back on track, he told me to come in on tues and thurs at 10:30 to train with him. i knew he was waiting for me so i had to be there. :) i did upper body weight training on tues and lower body weight training on thurs. in 2 days i am already down 4.5lbs and i feel great ( sore but great) i am looking forward to seeing what next weeks numbers bring!
i also, am so thankful for my clients. even in my weakness and my sickness, they have been faithful to stay with me and do as i "say", not as i "do". depression is a horrible thing, the great thing about it though, is that it doesn't have to defeat us, it may slow us down, but we can bounce back from anything! so to all of my amazing clients... THANKS FOR STICKING IT OUT WITH ME. you mean everything to me.
-m
i also, am so thankful for my clients. even in my weakness and my sickness, they have been faithful to stay with me and do as i "say", not as i "do". depression is a horrible thing, the great thing about it though, is that it doesn't have to defeat us, it may slow us down, but we can bounce back from anything! so to all of my amazing clients... THANKS FOR STICKING IT OUT WITH ME. you mean everything to me.
-m
Tuesday, September 28
first week
so, here i am, 1 week after RE-starting my take shape program! i have not weighed myself, here is why: i followed the program perfectly, tues, wed, thurs, fri, even saturday! sunday however, i had 2 parties to go to, so i allowed myself the day off. do i recommend this? no. but like we all need to know, life happens. i still consider week 1 a complete success!! here's why: i didn't let my one day stop me. i took 1 day off then got right back on and continued... success! the old me would then feel like a failure, the new me knows that i am not. now as i start week 2, i have nothing on my calender that should be a problem for me. i know from previous experience that after i get a couple of good weeks under my belt, even a day with 2 parties full of food will not tempt me. i know that i will not have cravings and that saying no to even the yummiest of food will not be hard because my mind and body will be at a place of stability. i will keep you informed as i move along, even though i know that some of you may not read this for months and maybe even years after i write this, the struggle is the same in 2010 or 3010! here's to many more successful weeks!
Wednesday, September 15
life happens
it seems that life happens, even to those of us who try to fight it! so with that being said, i am going to use this blog to tell you about my struggles as they lead to my success! i have NO doubt that it will lead to my success, just maybe not in the time frame i would like to see. what i have to tell myself is that it is still success! most of you know that i was able to lose over 40lbs in 8 weeks using Take Shape For Life a year ago. i love the program, and know that i can do it again! i love how simple it is to follow and even how easy it was to maintain... when i was normal (normal for me anyway) :)
in April of 2010 i sunk into a deep depression, which i am prone to in my life, nothing seemed to help this time though. i was tired, sad, and didn't seem to care about anything. i really couldn't feel. i am not sure if deep down i ate to ruin myself on purpose, but boy did i eat! i think part of me liked feeling guilty because at least i was feeling something.
now, here we are September of 2010, i have gained it all back. the old me would give up and not try again. here is the difference this time however; i can feel it! before, i had been over weight for so long that i couldn't feel how yucky i felt, i had nothing to compare it to. now, i know how great i felt 45lbs ago. i can feel that it is harder to move around because of the extra weight, i can feel that my breathing is more labored, i can feel that i have NO energy. i can feel all of these things that i didn't feel a year ago. I REFUSE TO LIVE LIKE THIS FOREVER! so, i know that i need to find the motivation to go at it again. this time i need to find a way to keep the depression away though...? not sure if it's possible, but i'm going to try!
so here i am, at step one just like some of you. i know that i am going to most likely get a headache or two in the first few days, that i am going to feel hungry, however, i know that i can do it, because i've done it before! i know that if i clear my calender for a couple of weeks and get myself into the habit of eating this way, that nothing will be able to stop me! i can be possibly 50lbs healthier by the holidays! how amazing!!
as i sit and write this, i have a horrible cold, so i am going to see what i can do with that, it may be smarter for me to wait a few days when i don't feel so lousy! :( we'll see. i look forward to going on this journey and i ask that you would join me. comment and let me know what you are struggling with, or succeeding at! this is a fight that is best fought together :)
-m
p.s. pass this on to your friends, they don't have to be doing my program to benefit from learning of others stuggles, knowing you aren't alone sure helps!
in April of 2010 i sunk into a deep depression, which i am prone to in my life, nothing seemed to help this time though. i was tired, sad, and didn't seem to care about anything. i really couldn't feel. i am not sure if deep down i ate to ruin myself on purpose, but boy did i eat! i think part of me liked feeling guilty because at least i was feeling something.
now, here we are September of 2010, i have gained it all back. the old me would give up and not try again. here is the difference this time however; i can feel it! before, i had been over weight for so long that i couldn't feel how yucky i felt, i had nothing to compare it to. now, i know how great i felt 45lbs ago. i can feel that it is harder to move around because of the extra weight, i can feel that my breathing is more labored, i can feel that i have NO energy. i can feel all of these things that i didn't feel a year ago. I REFUSE TO LIVE LIKE THIS FOREVER! so, i know that i need to find the motivation to go at it again. this time i need to find a way to keep the depression away though...? not sure if it's possible, but i'm going to try!
so here i am, at step one just like some of you. i know that i am going to most likely get a headache or two in the first few days, that i am going to feel hungry, however, i know that i can do it, because i've done it before! i know that if i clear my calender for a couple of weeks and get myself into the habit of eating this way, that nothing will be able to stop me! i can be possibly 50lbs healthier by the holidays! how amazing!!
as i sit and write this, i have a horrible cold, so i am going to see what i can do with that, it may be smarter for me to wait a few days when i don't feel so lousy! :( we'll see. i look forward to going on this journey and i ask that you would join me. comment and let me know what you are struggling with, or succeeding at! this is a fight that is best fought together :)
-m
p.s. pass this on to your friends, they don't have to be doing my program to benefit from learning of others stuggles, knowing you aren't alone sure helps!
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