life happens

it seems that life happens, even to those of us who try to fight it! so with that being said, i am going to use this blog to tell you about my struggles as they lead to my success! i have NO doubt that it will lead to my success, just maybe not in the time frame i would like to see. what i have to tell myself is that it is still success! most of you know that i was able to lose over 40lbs in 8 weeks using Take Shape For Life a year ago. i love the program, and know that i can do it again! i love how simple it is to follow and even how easy it was to maintain... when i was normal (normal for me anyway) :)
in April of 2010 i sunk into a deep depression, which i am prone to in my life, nothing seemed to help this time though. i was tired, sad, and didn't seem to care about anything. i really couldn't feel. i am not sure if deep down i ate to ruin myself on purpose, but boy did i eat! i think part of me liked feeling guilty because at least i was feeling something.
now, here we are September of 2010, i have gained it all back. the old me would give up and not try again. here is the difference this time however; i can feel it! before, i had been over weight for so long that i couldn't feel how yucky i felt, i had nothing to compare it to. now, i know how great i felt 45lbs ago. i can feel that it is harder to move around because of the extra weight, i can feel that my breathing is more labored, i can feel that i have NO energy. i can feel all of these things that i didn't feel a year ago. I REFUSE TO LIVE LIKE THIS FOREVER! so, i know that i need to find the motivation to go at it again. this time i need to find a way to keep the depression away though...? not sure if it's possible, but i'm going to try!
so here i am, at step one just like some of you. i know that i am going to most likely get a headache or two in the first few days, that i am going to feel hungry, however, i know that i can do it, because i've done it before! i know that if i clear my calender for a couple of weeks and get myself into the habit of eating this way, that nothing will be able to stop me! i can be possibly 50lbs healthier by the holidays! how amazing!!
as i sit and write this, i have a horrible cold, so i am going to see what i can do with that, it may be smarter for me to wait a few days when i don't feel so lousy! :( we'll see. i look forward to going on this journey and i ask that you would join me. comment and let me know what you are struggling with, or succeeding at! this is a fight that is best fought together :)
-m
p.s. pass this on to your friends, they don't have to be doing my program to benefit from learning of others stuggles, knowing you aren't alone sure helps!